


I Think This Is More Than You’re Admitting To Yourself

by nothingwithoutyouxo



Category: The Maze Runner (Movies), The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: (mostly), Canon Compliant, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:41:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27954041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nothingwithoutyouxo/pseuds/nothingwithoutyouxo
Summary: Newt banged his fist against the closed maze doors. Not only had he lost Alby and Minho, but now Thomas had thrown himself into the mix. Why did the greenie never listen?
Relationships: Newt/Thomas (Maze Runner)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 106





	I Think This Is More Than You’re Admitting To Yourself

**Author's Note:**

> I've never written for this series before, but I've been reading the books for the first time (after having only seen the movies) and jotting down ideas and snippets as I go. Here's a little ficlet I pulled together when I was reading the first book. I'm sure this has been done before, but I thought it would be fun to post my take on some of Newt's night while Thomas was in the maze with Minho, Alby, and the Grievers. I took a mix of things from the book and the movie too. 
> 
> The title is from Too Many Friends by Spencer Sutherland, which is a Bop if anyone wants to look it up and vibe a little.

Newt banged his fist against the closed maze doors, knowing that he would instantly regret it as his skin made contact with the hard stone. He flinched away, staring up at the wall that never seemed to end, a stream of curse words flying through his mind. Not only had he lost Alby and Minho, but now Thomas had thrown himself into the mix. Why did the greenie never listen? 

Logically, he knew that he had to call a gathering, and tell the council what had happened. He cringed at just the thought of what Gally would throw at him. Newt ran a hand through his hair, gazing around him and couldn’t help the wave of relief that no one seemed to be looking this way. Maybe he could hold onto this until tomorrow. 

Hell, maybe Thomas would keep everyone alive. As much as Newt wanted to laugh at the thought, brush it off as impossible, he couldn’t help but _hope_. He thought about the names carved into the maze wall and desperately didn’t want to find himself adding to their list. 

***

He couldn’t sleep. Newt couldn’t even think about sleeping, the mere idea of it tonight made him feel uneasy. The Grievers inside the maze were making their nightly mechanical howls, and just the sound of it struck a fear in Newt that he’d never felt before. He’d taken to sitting in front of the maze doors where he’d seen Thomas disappear just hours before. Chuck had insisted on staying with him for a while, the boy clearly shaken at the concept of losing his new friend, but Newt had hassled him until he went off to bed. 

The glade was too quiet, and the Grievers were too loud. Newt felt like he was floating slightly above everything, partially detached from his surroundings. He was trying not to think about how he hadn’t been able to save any of his friends. Alby wouldn’t have wanted anyone to break the rules, but Thomas had definitely thought it was worth a try.

Newt looked up when someone sat down next to him. He was already planning his retort to convince Chuck to head back to bed when he noticed it was Ben instead. Ben glanced at Newt, met his eyes long enough to offer him a nod, and then stared ahead at the closed doors of the maze. 

The two of them sat there for a moment, neither speaking, occasionally both jumping at the sound of a Griever and praying that it didn't mean what it could. 

“I didn’t want you to be out here by yourself,” Ben said eventually.

Newt drew his knees to his chest, resting his chin against them, and effectively curling himself into a ball. “You don’t have to pretend you’re here for me,” he replied. 

Ben smiled faintly, Newt could make it out in the light of the torches Chuck had helped him set up earlier when the boy realised Newt wasn’t going back to the homestead. “You got me.”

He wasn’t sure what to say to that. None of them had really talked about it directly, just let it play out. “You really care about him,” he muttered. “Minho.”

Meeting Newt’s eyes again, Ben nodded. “You really care about Thomas.”

Newt wished he hadn’t jolted at that, though Ben laughed at the reaction. 

“Relax,” he teased, throwing his legs out in front of him and leaning back on his hands, “Who am I gonna tell?”

He didn’t have an answer. Newt kind of wished he hadn’t said anything at all, because he didn’t know how to confront this yet. 

“Greenie’s only been here a few days,” he continued. “That’s gotta be fate or something, right?”

“I wouldn’t bloody know.”

Ben reached out, shoved at Newt’s shoulder gently. “I’m not gonna make you talk about it,” he reassured. 

Newt felt a wave of relief come over him. He looked at Ben, who offered him another small smile. “I need a team tomorrow,” he explained. “Search party for the shucking maze.” 

The smile fell and Ben turned serious again. He nodded.

“You wanna come with me?” 

Ben raised an eyebrow. “You’re going back into the maze?” he asked. “Even after -?” he broke off, but the unfinished question lay in the air. 

Newt looked down at his bad leg, sighed and then nodded. “Don’t you want to do the same?”

“I’ll gather up the runners before the maze opens tomorrow,” he said, looking at Newt with what he thought must have been respect. “If we need to split up they’ll know where to go.”

He nodded, but stayed quiet. Newt felt Ben’s hand on his shoulder again and unconsciously leaned into the touch, needing the comfort of the gesture. “Thanks,” he said.

“It’s probably good of us to stick together. All things considered.”

Ben dropped his hand again and the glade fell to a distressed silence. After a moment, Newt took a deep breath and looked up at the other boy. Ben met his eyes and raised an eyebrow as if to ask what was up. 

“I really like Tommy,” Newt said, and the words felt constricted, like he wasn’t meant to say them. He hadn’t quite admitted that to himself yet. It was too fast, he didn’t know what that truly meant but somehow he felt it. It was too fast and whatever he felt was too big for him to deal with. 

“I know,” Ben replied, with a soft smile. “He’s the only one you have a nickname for.”

***

Ben did as he said, and the runners gathered at the entrance to the maze before the doors grinded open that morning. They were all looking to Newt, some with concern, and Newt couldn’t help the itching feeling that this wasn’t his place, not anymore at least. The only way it truly would be was if Alby was dead, and he couldn’t think of an outcome that he wanted less than that one. _But no one has survived a night in the maze_ , his mind reminded him. 

Newt couldn’t help but think of Chuck - who he noticed not too far away watching them all anxiously - and his resolve. He’d been so sure the night before that if anyone could do this, it was Thomas. Chuck met his eyes and offered him a shaky nod. Newt nodded in return and hoped more than anything that the kid was right. 

The runners were stretching around him, preparing to scour the maze as they had so many times before. Newt wondered if anyone thought they were about to carry dead bodies back to the glade. Ben met his eyes, looking to him expectantly like he would have Alby. He couldn’t help but feel like he should say something. He wished Minho was here.

“Alright,” he said, and gained the attention of them all. “Stick together, and if anyone finds anything I wanna be the first person to bloody hear about it.” 

There were nods around him, and then the doors to the maze were slowly opening.

Newt took a deep breath as he watched them. Part of him wasn’t sure if he could do this on no sleep, and no food, but weirdly enough he knew that this is what Thomas would do. He wondered when he’d started getting pointers from the greenie. 

He started off at a jog, and couldn’t ignore the fact that the runners stayed steadily behind him, even though he knew they could all run much faster than he could, especially now. Ben stuck right next to him, which made him feel a little better about the situation. 

They turned a corner and noticed Thomas and Minho immediately. The two of them were barely standing, and seeing not just one, but both of them alive sent a shockwave through Newt. He ran faster just to reach them, breaking his acting-leader persona for just a moment to pull Minho into a hug. 

“Whoa,” Minho teased. “Miss me that much, you shank?” 

“Shut up,” Newt muttered, letting him go. He turned to Thomas instead, trying not to notice the way Ben threw his arms around Minho in an incredibly tight embrace. 

Thomas was pointing up the wall of the maze with one hand, and as Newt followed with his eyes, he noticed Alby had been tried securely halfway up the wall. 

“Did you do that?” he asked.

Thomas nodded. “I couldn’t let him die, and I couldn’t carry him, but there were greev -”

Before Thomas could finish, Newt was hugging him, throwing his arms around Thomas’ neck and pulling him close. The other boy froze in his grip and Newt couldn’t help the wave of _panic_ that gave him. How would he live with himself if he’d just overstepped? Newt could hear Minho explaining to the others that not only had Thomas tied Alby into the vines halfway up the wall but he’d done it _by himself_. Newt couldn’t help but hold onto Thomas tighter. He wanted to tell him just how brilliant he was, but couldn’t find the words. 

After a moment of hesitation, Thomas wound an arm around Newt in return, and Newt tried to ignore the shiver that ran up his spine as a result. He wasn’t sure what had come over him. Relief maybe, at all three of them being alive. He pulled away and Thomas didn’t say anything, just looked at him with tired eyes. Newt had never seen him more exhausted, it helped snap him back into acting-leader mode.

Newt shoved at Thomas’ shoulder, the action completely useless considering the hug that he’d just given him. “Don’t run into the bloody maze again,” he said. “Not after you’ve been told not to.”

Thomas just nodded in response. “Do you want me to get him down?” he asked, his head tilting towards Alby. 

Newt shook his head. “We’ll take care of it.” Then he forced himself to look away from Thomas and towards Ben and Minho. “Ben, take them back to the glade. Get them to Clint and Jeff to be patched up.”

Ben nodded, he had Minho’s arm wrapped around his shoulders - which was probably a tactical decision since Minho looked like he could collapse at any moment - and an arm around Minho’s waist, as if he couldn’t bring himself to let go. Newt couldn’t blame him. 

“Then go and find Chuck, if he doesn’t find you first.”

Thomas slumped a little next to him. Whether it was in relief, or something worse he didn’t know. 

Newt waited until the three of them were around the corner and well on their way to the glade before turning back to the other runners. He instantly regretted it when he saw some of them smirking at him, and looked up at Alby instead. His hands resting against his hips, Newt took a deep breath. 

“Well,” he muttered, “Let’s get this shank down.”

***

Alby was out cold, but he had a pulse, and that at the very least allowed Newt just a little bit of hope as he was handed over to the Med-Jacks. He’d definitely been stung, Newt knew it even before Jeff told him, but if he’d survived a whole day and a whole night in the maze maybe he could pull through. Newt’s tiredness was starting to catch up to him, and he found himself zoning out just a little as Clint relayed what Jeff had been saying for the second time. 

When he noticed Newt shake his head slightly, trying to keep himself awake, he smiled. “The adrenaline starting to wear off?” he asked.

“Sorry,” he muttered.

Clint shrugged. “We’ve got this. If you want to visit Thomas he’s in the next room over.” His smile turned into a smirk as Newt jolted at the statement. “Minho’s the next one after that,” he added, “but I think I know who you'll go to first.”

Jeff laughed next to him and Newt suddenly wished he had the energy to get snippy with them. “Let me know if there’s any change,” he said, waiting for them both to nod in return before leaving the room. 

Thomas was awake, barely, having already been patched up. He was slowly making his way through a plate of food, something Frypan must have held onto in the hopes that everyone would be found. As Newt stopped in the doorway, Thomas looked up at him. 

“You can come in,” Thomas said. “Want some?”

His stomach was making him acutely aware that he hadn’t eaten since the day before, but neither had Thomas. Newt shook his head, moving into the room.

Thomas shifted over on the bed, as if he expected Newt to sit right next to him, and as tempting as the thought was, Newt pulled up a chair instead. 

He wasn’t sure what to say, and the two of them sat in silence for a moment. Thomas tilted the plate towards Newt and this time he took something, a strip of Frypan’s famous bacon. 

“You look about as rough as I feel,” Thomas said, not quite meeting his eyes. 

“Didn’t sleep last night,” Newt admitted. “Some shank ran into the maze.”

His shoulders slumped, but before he could apologise, Newt kept talking.

“Saved two of my friends, and himself. First person to do that.”

“We’re not friends?” Thomas asked, a slight pout overcoming his expression.

“What?” 

“You said two of your friends.”

Newt laughed. “Tommy, I was joking.”

“So none of us are your friends?”

“You need some sleep,” he mused. Though the food had made him perk up a little, Thomas still looked like every muscle in his body was about to give up.

Thomas put the plate down and looked over at him. “Sounds like you do too.”

Newt just looked at him, and for some strange reason he considered just jumping into bed with Thomas and falling asleep right next to him. He tried his best to push the thought away. 

“Why’d you hug me in the maze?” Thomas asked, there was no accusation in his voice, just a softness to his tone that gave Newt pause. 

He swallowed. “I thought I’d lost you,” he said.

Thomas nodded, his eyes falling to his lap. “Me too.”

“Not sure what I’d do without you, green -” he sighed and corrected himself, “Tommy.”

He looked up, meeting Newt’s eyes again. There was something sparking in them that Newt didn’t know what to do with. Then Thomas spoke. “Stay here,” he muttered, his voice dropping to almost a whisper. “I know you probably want to see Minho, but … please. Just for a bit.”

Newt was nodding, even before Thomas had finished his sentence. “I’ll stay.”

**Author's Note:**

> Minho/Ben started as a little inside joke between me and my best friend [Hannah](http://daisybees.tumblr.com) (who loves this series possibly more than I do), but I wanted to keep it in for funsies because they're sweet.
> 
> You can find me over at [stranger-awakening](http://stranger-awakening.tumblr.com) on Tumblr if you'd like to chat!


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